I want to do it all, and I want to see it all. I am my own worst enemy (to misquote the comic strip Pogo), and my amazing husband wants nothing more than for me to be happy – even though that doesn’t help. I started writing a different (but similar) blog post nearly a week ago, titled “Needed: A Day of Rest,” in which I chronicled our busy-ness. I never finished the essay because we were busy. We have been in Santa Fe for three nights now, and have had time to slow down a bit, but rest? I think not.
I find this to be the hardest part of our Great Adventure – I cannot NOT do stuff. If there is a national park or monument or a museum nearby, I need to see it. Where do we go next? That depends on what the road atlas reveals about the places along the way, and we have so many choices about which roads to drive on, it’s an unlimited menu.
An old friend asked me yesterday, “Why not consider letting busy go?” and I had to admit he had a good point. We’ve seen more national parks/monuments than I can count without looking in my travel journal, and every day there have been new adventures and new memories. Why can’t I just stop?
I thought that when we arrived in Santa Fe that I would be able to still myself and allow a void of some sort to come over me. How luxurious it would be to take an afternoon and paint, or read. Nope. A few hours here and there, and then I’m antsy to start the next activity. We’ve been to the annual Fiesta de Santa Fe, the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum, and the New Mexico Museum of Fine Arts so far, with much more still remaining on the “to do” list. I think it might come down to the fear that this is my last chance. I might not ever have this kind of opportunity for travel again, and I want to take advantage of every minute.
Plus I really do want to see it all and do it all. This world is so filled with wonder. How can I not be in it?
Just before we arrived in Santa Fe, I was exhausted. We had been to, I think, three national parks in that many days and I had not had a chance to upload or geo-tag the hundreds of photos I had taken. I felt like just giving up and not posting any more pictures for the rest of the trip. Then I had a good night’s sleep, and it all looked a lot less overwhelming. What did I learn from that? That I need to get enough sleep. We have been getting up later and later as time goes by, and this week it’s been nearly 8:00 when I’ve opened my eyes to the morning. I’ve never been a morning person anyway and we’ve had lazy morning coffee before we get started. (It was a major accomplishment when I got up for sunrise on the Grand Canyon!)
But even that does not instill in me a desire to just stop. Do nothing for awhile. Rest.
Perhaps I’ve been taken over by a demon of some kind – I don’t know. I do know that as I prepared to retire last spring, I kept thinking, I’m not done yet; I still have more to accomplish and see and do in my life. I wish I wasn’t so driven, but my insides are churning and there is still so much I have not done.
I’ll rest tomorrow, after I . . .